FIRST DATE
This just tells you how hard it is to be single
nowadays. This was on the"Tonight Show" with Jay Leno
(daw).
Jay went into the audience to find the most
embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The
winner described her worst first date experience.
There was absolutely no question as to why her tale
took the prize!
Marilyn said it was midwinter… snowing and quite
cold… and the guy had taken her skiing to Lake
Arrowhead. It was a day trip, no overnight. They were
strangers, after all, and truly had never met before.
The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until
they were headed home late that afternoon. They were
driving back down the mountain when she gradually
began to realize that she should not have had that
extra latte.
They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest
room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion
suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a
while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and
slow going, there came a point where she told him that
he had better stop and let her pee on the side of the
road, or it would be the front seat of his car.
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the
car, yanked her pants down and started. Unfortunately,
in the deep snow she didn’t have good footing, so she
let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady
her. Her companion stood on the side of the car
watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman
and refrained from peeking. All she could think about
was the relief she felt despite the rather
embarrassing nature of the situation.
Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of
another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants,
the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly
glued against the car’s fender. Thoughts of tongues
frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind as she
attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal.
It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new
problem due to the extreme cold.
Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the
humor, she answered her date’s concerns about "what
was taking so long" with a reply that indeed, she
was "freezing her butt off and needed some
assistance!"
He came around the car as she tried to cover herself
with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly
into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got
the giggles and when they finally managed to compose
themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as
hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced
with a real problem.
Both agreed it would take something hot to free her
chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal! Thinking
about what had gotten her into the predicament in the
first place, both quickly realized that there was only
one way to get her free: so, as she looked the other
way, her first time date proceeded to unzip his pants
and pee her butt off the fender.
As for the Tonight Show… she took the prize hands
down… or perhaps that should be "pants down." And
you thought your first date was embarrassing! This
gives a whole new meaning to being "pissed off."
Oh and how did the first date turn out? He became her
husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.
